In my summer paradise

Tis that time of year again where everyone is partying, eating lots, and more importantly give thanks to the things they have in their life. Some of you may or may not know but this year has not been the best year for me. Even so there are still many things and people I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my family [ at least the family that stuck by our side through these times]. Without you I don't know how I could have made it through this year. As much as we fight and bicker, I love you all very much.

-Mommy, I am sorry that I haven't been able to do much, but I will try my best to continue to do everything for the family. My heart breaks when I see you cry. You've done so much for the family and have gone through so much.. I really wish if I could.. take all the pain and put it in me again.

-David, my obnoxious pseudo twin.. We fight, we bicker, we don't see eye to eye on things, but in the end you are the one that knows me the best in the family..

-Daniene, what can I say about you other than... gah I wish you would grow up XD ! No seriously though.. I know how much it has hurt you with the things that have gone on in the family and though I don't say it much. I am very proud how much you have actually matured and "manned" up to reality. JUST STOP BUYING THINGS WILL YOU?!?!? XD

-Dane, my adorkable minnie. I am so proud of you for sticking it out in football and leading your team into the playoffs. It's ok that you didn't get to go farther than the first game but I know that next year you will go farther. Thank you for keeping the family together and lightening up the mood when things get tought. Thank you for sticking up for me when I was pushed against the wall by those going against us. I promise that I'll be with you as long as you need me.

-Po, what can I say to you .. other than you are such an ADORKABLE BRO. I am very happy and honored that you have joined our family. As much as you are playful and childish, you have a big heart and are very mature. I'm sorry I poke fun at you so much, but it is all out of love. Thanks for being a big bro to Dane and putting up with my family's craziness [though you just add fuel to the fire XD]

- Rady, my 19 year old nephew, thank you for trusting me and confiding in me what is in your heart. Seeing you smile after makes it all worth while and thanks for trusting me.

To my dear friends, I have so many things to be grateful for.. I apologize to anyone who isn't mentioned, but believe me when I say that I am thankful for each and every single friend I've made and appreciate everything you have done for me.

-Karma to my Chaos, Chloe unnie. October 31st marked 2 years that we have been friends. I am so thankful to have met and befriended such an amazing person. Thank you for accepting me for me and not being wierded out by my odd behavior and quirks. Thank you for always being here to support me when I am down and lost, when I'm sad and want to end it all. Thank you for being the unnie that I've always wanted. Thank you for being the light to my darkness and always re-assuring me that even when life seems to be against me .. that things will only get better. I don't know what I would have done without you. But remember that it goes around the same way unnie. I will always be there for unnie<333 XD your package will be going to you soon!!! Filled with goodies for my bestest unnie and friend. PARTNERS IN CHAOS FOREVER!! See you in May!!! Everyone in the family is looking forward to your visit!

- My turtle princess, I am thankful to have a funny dongsaeng like you. I know I promise that I would give you an update and I will... eventually ^-^;;; I kno wyou don't like being called turtle princess.. but you will always be that to me <3

-My Candysky Mishmish, thank you for always worrying about this unnie and always sticking on my side. It means so much to me to have a dear dongsaeng like you. Remember what I told you. I seriously meant every single word.

-Little butterfly Emi hmmm it has been an odd year has it not? From bumping into hottie jrockers to my random trip to socal. Thanks for sticking around and dealing with my random behavior and still thinking of me as your ummanie though we haven't spoken much lately. Saranghae.

-My fanfic writing queen dongsaeng, hahah what can I say to you Diana, but thank you for still talking to me and sharing your awesome ideas on your stories and being a good friend ne. I'm sorry that sometimes I go MIA in our chats but you know why XD. Thanks for always worrying about my health and well being and confiding in me.

-Yumi chan, GOMEN!!! I STILL HAVEN'T SENT OUT YOUR PRIZE YET BUT I WILL I PROMISE!! Thank you my awesome fanfic writere, graphic artist, all around amazing dongsaeng for befriending me and not thinking much of my craziness. Though we are a continent apart, I am thankful you see me as an unnie you can talk to and confide in things.

-Jinng ading!! Thank you so much for being such a good ading. ^_^ thank you for always supporting this ate in her random adventures into .. umm everything?? I know you are busy with school and yet you still have time to come and chat with me. Remember whenever you come to California ^-^ ate will be the awesomest guide ever!

-Xiu, the little onion that thinks of me as her sidekick =.=;; .. Even with that flaw of yours I am thankful to have met such a delightful yet excentric person as you. Thanks for being brutally honest with me about everything and looking up to me as an unnie. Also for always trying to find a way to make me laugh.. though at times I think it just happens accidentally. As much as I play fight with you, I hope you know its cuz unnie cares.

-May, my new dongsaeng from Florida ^-^. Thanks for chatting with me and confiding in me as an unnie. You are by far one of the most headstrong people I've met and I admire that about you. I am impressed that you have stuck out with things you felt are worth fighting for unlike this unnie. My your heart stay strong always.

-Anna, though we have met as I left the forum. It has been a pleasure to get to know you and talk to you. ^-^ I hope that we will continue to grow as friends.

- Mai thanks for confiding me in things as well as listening to my ramblings too. ^-^ I hope that your life will get better as time goes by. My hopes and best wishes are with you always.

-My little owlie Esther. Thanks for listening to this unnie's rants and I promise that one of these days I will finish the fic for you!! I am so thankful to have a friend like you

-Marrii dongsaneg ^-^ thanks for talking to me and helping me out when I needed it. Sorry I am not that good of an unnie but thank you for being a good friend for me.

Once again my apologies for not being able to mention with you, but my thoughts and heart are with you always.

<3 Rei

Tuesday, November 25, 2008
｡Vers 2｡

Well as you can see ^-^ time for the holidays so .. new colors and a new header to welcome in the season and this time the header features the adorkable SoulMates Jae Joong & Yoochun from their latest Lotte Promotion photos.

Also embedded is one of my favorite holiday songs "All I Want for Christmas is You" originally performed by Mariah Carey but I personally like Olivia Olsen's version which was used for the move Love Actually more. [[Yes xiu I said I don't like embedding music players on autoplay but pfft XD ]]

So I hope you enjoy the change of scenery here ^-^.

Happy Holidays to everyone and to those you care. May this season bring you and yours happiness, joy, love, family, friendship and of course lots of food, fun and presents!!!

Saturday, November 22, 2008
｡Cooking? Cooking!｡

So today my baby brother and adopted brother wanted to officially start: Cooking?Cooking!
as so cleverly dubbed by them XD in honor of one of Po's favorite Suju Happy songs by the same title.

The purpose of Cooking?Cooking! is to teach Po [my adopted brother] and Dane [my baby brother also known by me as My Minnie] how to cook different dishes, because I firmly believe that both men and women should be able to cook and so do my brothers. Each week, Po and Dane select one to two dishes that I would instruct them in making but actually not do any of the cooking so in a sense I have become Mama in Cooking Mama -->

Both my brothers seem to enjoy this and here is what happened with lesson 1

Lesson 1: Crab Rangoon & Honey [minus the Walnut] Shrimp

The first task I sent them on was to actually buy the ingredients for both dishes. Sadly it took them 2 days to gather them all [XD they get easily distracted]. After they returned with the ingredients necessary to make crab rangoon and spent waaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy much more than I thought they would have so I went with them to purchase the ingredients for Honey Shrimp. They wondered why I was price comparing and product comparing.. ie.. brand name versus generic, frozen to fresh. I began to explain the reasoning for this which most of you already know which would be is the brand name worth the cost of the product and what items don't matter when it comes to brands etc, as well as the convenience of things.

When we got home I immediately instructed them to organize all that we had purchased/will be using as well as to clean up the area and their hands before we started. From then on we started the Rangoon and Honey Shrimp. Tonight's lessons went well but lets have the pictures speak for themselves> ^-^v

**click on thumbnail to see fullsize**

** The students Po & Dane **

** Mixing the filling for the Crab Rangoon & forming them **

** Frying the battered shrimp [ shrimp in an eggwhite+cornstarch+ seasoning mixture] XD they didn't burn any woohoo **

** Frying the Crab Rangoon [ they tested out different folds and forms]**

** Mixing the sauce [mayo, condensed milk, honey, lime juice] with the fried shrimp and garnishing as well as adding flavor with chopped green onion**

** Complete Lesson 1**

** "We've passed lesson 1!"**

** "Time to eat!!!" **

Big Sis' Scoring: Though not very clean in presentation the taste was good and most importantly they enjoyed themselves ... so PASSED!

Next week's lesson: Masuman Curry

Saturday, November 15, 2008
｡Color Part2｡

part 2 of the coloring of miroticness vers. c
all that is left is junsu

** click on thumbnails to view full size **

Thursday, November 13, 2008
｡Color｡

Hahaha a new music video, a new version released = b&w pics for me to color woohoo
ill prolly add more later ja ^-^

*** click on the picture to see full size ***

picture credits: soompi.com
colorization credits: rei@koori-ni-kokoro.blogspot.com

Wednesday, November 12, 2008
｡Wrong Number｡

The Lyrics:

You call me at least twelve times a day to check,
If by chance, I'm on the line with somebody, you leave a suspicious message

Who would I be talking with at this time?
It gets so hard for me, when you make up a girl who doesn't even exist, yeah

You trap me in the words of love, the annoying scoldings pile up, turning into attachement,
I want to forget you; I'll make sure you don't appear on my phone again, I said

You got the wrong number
You got the wrong number
I'm sorry. You got the wrong number
So don't call me no more

As if you're my mother, you know my whole day,
You're always worried about who I am with, as if it's for me

You try to make an excuse by saying you were curious,
But the extreme restrictions just make love more painful,
What would be the good of hanging onto a hung up call?
The words I hear are clear, what to say

You got the wrong number
You got the wrong number
I'm sorry. You got the wrong number
So don't call me no more

You got the wrong number
You got the wrong number
I'm sorry. You got the wrong number
So don't call me no more

I'll erase it all; I'll change it all; the password which reminds me of the times of you and me,
I'll erase your ringtone which rang everything my name appeared on your phone, reset, reset

Wow, I think I'll go crazy, I'll appreciete it if you shut up,
I'm like a stupid fish in your net, can't it be enough like this? Cash
Your words of love scrape my skin, it becomes dim,
My head starts to hurt again, I'm starting to hear auditory hallucinations,
As if you're interested, as if it's for me; i'm just your item,
You don't have to be nervous by the word No, just let me go, say,
Help me so I can escape, say, we're already too far to start again

You got the wrong number
You got the wrong number
I'm sorry. You got the wrong number
So don't call me no more

I want to escape from you now, don't call me again,
Don't hold onto a person that has left, just let me go, just let me go
Credits: qinaaax3 @ soompi

The Premise:

Girl obsessing over the guys to the point of smothering them and O.o implementing stalker/pervert tactics as in putting surveillance equipment in their homes and spying on them.

My Interpretation:

<--- XD thats it

Tuesday, November 11, 2008
｡Karma｡

Most people don't believe in Karma... but I do.

And today, I just re-affirmed that karma does exist and that whatever you have done to someone.. it does come back to you tenfold.

My family in a polite way of saying is by far the most dis-functional family ever.

Two brothers who fear their wives and disowned their own family for their wives.

A father who after 40+ years of marriage commits infidelity and abandons his family leaving the country and his family to fend for themselves, taking away all assets. Ruined his family's credibility in the town. Stolen money from the temple to finance his love affair. Wished death upon the remaining children he has claiming that they were never his in the first place.

A sister in law so power and money hungry and status driven that she has completely decimated her husband's assets and destroyed an future for her children. Not only that but has made her a family targets for those she owes. Worst of all while doing all of this is committing infidelity [that is known by everyone except for my brother who I believe is in denial].

Of all of these... karma has hit one and made it clear that no one is without fault and must accept the consequences.

This morning I was informed that my eldest brother's family currently living in Japan is in dire straights, as my "perfect" sister-in-law has drained all of their money from all their accounts to finance her hair brained get rich quick scheme in a third world country.. and oh yea.. take care of her lover. This is to the point where my eldest brother has had to turn off and take away anything that would be considered an excess not needed to live, ie: internet, cable, promises of trips for holidays, personal tutors, cell phones. WTF.. Mind you my eldest brother is currently working as a government contract in Japan which the US government paying for a basic standard of living for him and his family [wife + 2 children] as well as he isn't being taxed on anything so.. HOW IN THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO BE BROKE HUH?!?!?

My eldest brother to keep up with the lavish life style of his wife has even done a pay advance from his work for the next 3 years.. which she has blown in a matter of 3 weeks.. so he's pretty much working off a debt instead of making a profit for the next 3 years.

My nephew and niece have gotten their phones and internet taken away. No more private tutors, music lessons, or membership to Bigeast. If they were not being put through academy by the government, I don't know what would happen to them.

It was always a dream of my eldest brother to get away from the United States and see the world and completely distance himself from my family who he calls the shadow in his perfect life. Look at him now, living in the most up to date and exciting places in the world .. but living constrained unable to enjoy all the wonderous things Japan has to offer and unable to come back due to a contract...

What will he do.. what will she do... has karma run it's course?

For the sake of my niece and nephew I hope so...

Monday, November 10, 2008
｡Memory｡

After a lot of thought and a lot of frustrations, I've pretty much come to a conclusion that it is time for me to let go of things that had me pretend to be someone that wasn't me. For those who know me you probably know what I mean, and for those who don't.. well since I've decided to leave it in the past there isn't much worth in explaining it. Like I've always said, I will keep the promises I have made in the past, but no longer do I want to hear about the drama involved in things I have left behind.

So pretty much if you want to know about my existence or see what I've been up to .. pretty much you will either have to find it here or through the links here or soompi. My reach out into cyberspace via forums and such will be limited to these because well soompi is so vague that my existence there is not noticed by many. Here because I am free to say, post do watever I please as long, without having to walk on eggshells.

Now it is time for me to be myself and live life with no regrets.

I should probably introduce myself once again.

Rei is the name I go by online and yes it is one of my actual names.
Age: 23
Nicknames or names you can call me by: Rei, Chaos
**for those who know me well, you know what you can call me by
Location: California
Personality: This is pretty much up to you to decide. Whatever you think I am, chances are it's only a small part of me.
Music preference: I like everything or at least give everything a try though I will clearly state that I have a complete dislike of American Rap

I have many acquaintances but when it comes to those I call friends, it is few and when it comes to those I would trust my life with , the list gets smaller.

There is one person I had the honor to meet 2 years ago that has become on of those, I can trust my life to. My best friend, my sister, my partner in chaos. She is the only person I have met through forums and online that has not judged me for being me and has accepted me as me. She's given me the hope and faith that I am not the only one that feels what I feel and that there is still true friendship in this world.

If you want to talk to me via email just leave a comment. I am a welcoming person, but after many years of betrayals and broken promises.. I hesitate. So if I don't reply to you promptly, it's not that I hate you or such.. I'm just contemplating why.

Summer Tunes

About Me

Hi ^-^ my name is Linda but everyone online knows me as either Rei, Hikari, Hikariblade, Rabudokichaos, Chaos, Mitsukai. You can call me which ever you please .

I am 23 going on 24 T_T;; yes I am an oldie..

This is where I'll vent, inspire, share, and just about do anything as long as I have time for it.

I am a very simple person, with simple dreams and huge obstacles that challenge me at every moment. I sometimes want to give it all up, but those that I care for mean too much for me to do that.

I am cold at first but if you give me the chance, you'll get to see the me that would shock you .