s
12.12.08 phone call
me: hello mommy
mommy: linlin....
me: yes mommy
mommy: daddy called
me: so what do i need to know that for mommy *starts angry mumbling*
mommy: linlin.. he's your father... he said he will be coming home around christmas.. go buy some new blankets and get the camry's title from the bank for him.
me: *hang up*
co-worker: linda are you ok? *nervous look*
me: *punches steel locker and grabs stuff and leaves*
co-worker: shit.... some one is going to die
=.= yes.. the bastard father that called us worthless and abandoned us for dead... IS COMING FUCKING HOME!!!!!!!!! you do not know how much this makes me mad... i know why he is coming back and it is not the bullshit lies he is feeding my sister and mother. he's coming home because his slutty lover has taken everything from him and her family placed a hit on him. pfft me send him 3000 dollars... like hell i would if i had the money... i know one thing.. if she accepts him back after all the shit he has done with us.. i might be homeless and have no family. i can't take it anymore.
if that didnt just destroy my weekend off.. guess what... I HAD A PANIC ATTACK.. just freakin great. according to my doctor when i was taken to the hospital, he said that the panic attack was caused by all the stress, worries and frustration i've kept bottled inside releasing all at once. that it will continue to happen as long as i dont find a way to release my anger and just stay calm and happy. [[ for those who have never had a panic attack... it's like having your chest cave in on you with your ribs piercing your lungs.. sound fun... try having it for 4 hrs and not being able to breath, call for help or move =.=]] in the last 3 days.. ive had 3 panic attacks.. the latter two were not as severe as the first one... he also mentioned that if this continue i might die at an early age because of it
i promised unnie that i will try to stay happy and i will.. but idk with all this stuff happening... I WILL TRY MY BEST
ONCE AGAIN MY SISTER RUINS ANOTHER FAMILY VACATION =_=*twitch*
Christmas is just around the corner and money is extremely tight around my house.. so instead of buying everyone an individual gift I decided to use the money that owuld have gotten everyone small gifts to finance a weekend trip to LA (Los Angeles) where we would drive down ther eon friday night and have all of saturday and part of sunday to just hang out and have fun. especially since my baby brother and my nephews and neice have never gone to LA just for fun.. it has always been for family functions or such. everything was going well until.. she found out and decided to invite her firends to come with us and explaining to them that they need not worry about money.. that i would be taking care of all of it.. umm HELL NOOOOOOOO first off its a family trip.. second off i was going to pay for a rental car, hotel and one meal for the 0 people that were aoriginally going not the x amount of people she invitied... sometimes i wonder if she realizes that times are tough and that i am not made out of money...
so pretty much the trip is cancelled... everyone else knows that its cancelled except her.. which im fine with. the only thing she doesnt know is that we are going to san francisco.. except she wont know til we are on the bart and she is asleep in her bed at hom
yes i know that is evil but .. its the only thing that will keep me from haivng to finance the trip for like30 people..
finally...
my minnie... decided to field goal kick my laptop screen =.=
all was going well, we had friends come over and play cards and such.. the door bell rang and i asked totchi [one of my adorable adopted brothers] to go answer the door but minnie decides he will go answer it and instead of walking around me (i was sitting on the floor near where we were playing cards and minnie was laying on th ecouch behind me) he thought he could clear me and my laptop that was coincidentally in my lap..
next thing you know his foot connects with my laptop and sends it flying about 4 feet before falling on my tile floor.. lets just say that i can never use the screen again... he in an attempt to stop me from crying [yes i was crying because i paid for this laptop with my own money] and from me going into a blood rage he offered his laptop.. sweet except =.= that would grant me execution via my mommy. so to avoid all this .. we pulled out the flatscreen for our desktop and got a usb keyboard.. so basically now i have a compact desktop.... *twitch*
All within 72hrs.. such a string of unfortunate events..
Argh >>>>>>>>>>>>>>-<<<<<<<<<<<<<<;;;
if you need anyone to talk to
so you dont have to bottle it all up
just dump it on me
all my friends do it ^^
and it will be good for my future job
as a psychologist
[not saying you are psycho or anything] :D
just cheer up and whenever you feel down
go watch a funny video. better yet watch the NOKY brothers :D
i just dont want you to have another panic attack.cause that would be horrible
i want to talk to rei unnie on msn
[and remember what you just said. you were bringing me to asia to attend one of TVXQ!'s concerts.. so you cant and better not leave]
be happy. :D
O(^~^)O May
but anyway...hmph...just hang in there okies linlin? and don't fret too much! I know your like in a rage now because of him but think about your health too T-T stay happy as always ne and please please please do it for me! do the tricks I told you! ahahahhaa just look at you know who LOL!!!! and you know that i will always be here to cheer you up linlin!!! ^-^
it's so sad you cancelled your LA trip!! D= daniene is impossible like your dad as well! if she doesnt spend her paychecks she could just pay for her friends! PLUS her friends are shameless too! i doubt they even feel embarassed knowing that you'll pay for them...right? dang your sister =w= if she's my sister i'd be kicking her conscience mind and sticking needles to make her realize that she has to change her attitude! aish daniene. =w=
AND BE MORE CAREFUL...especially around dane ne?! you know he's a football player!!! that minnie! xDDD but anyway...JUST REMEMBER THAT I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU! ^-^ you know that clearly! <3333
Don't be to angry okkies *glares*, you know that's bad for you, and you should limit your anger so you don't have panic attack. & Unnie you know EVERYONE doesn't want Unnie to have the panic attacks EVER AGAIN!! So please take care of yourself T.T", last night you made me worry T^T!
Also, I know this may sound mean... but just don't do any special treats for now. If Unnie is on a tight budgets, just make homemade cards, and your family should know why Unnie is doing this. It's because Unnie care for them, & to show them to limit their budgets.
Maybe Unnie should give your sister's SN to me keke -plans evil plan- jk~ But I want her to really stop being spoil(?), from what I read... I think your sister is abit spoil ._.". Unnie should really leave a note to her, and a warning sign to watch out. Think before making other happy. She doesn't need to show her friends how they can go there and this. & make them happy. Just make something simple&I think that's good for here =-="
Also about Unnie's dad... I really don't know about him a lot. But if he is really coming back. Stalk on him :X? See why he is really coming back..? Maybe he have something else ._." (i watch too much dramas sorry ><)... But that maybe true 8)?
I heard they said crying help you relieve ._.", maybe Unnie can relief by crying :X? I think that's not really an evil thing to say... But crying does let you relax 8)...
hehe one of my random -drama relate- stuff ;=;"... Get some paper, write out some anger notes, and paste on the walls, to let your family know that don't stress you out now =-="...
but still say "I love you." for those who you love hehe :).
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF LADY t.t!!
WOAH it's 3AM D: better sleep ><". TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF UNNIE >EE!
`-- Xiu
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